My beloved brothers and sisters in Christ Our Only True Lord, God, and Savior,
CHRIST IS IN OUR MIDST! HE WAS, IS, AND EVER SHALL BE.
Saint Mary of Egypt’s Confession to
Father Zosimas. (Part II)
FOR THE DEVOUT WOMAN. Mode pl. 4.
In you, O Mother, is
preserved undistorted what
was made in the image of God;
for taking up the cross, you
followed Christ and by example
taught, that we should overlook
the flesh, since it passes away,
and instead look after the soul,
since it is immortal. And
therefore. O devout Mary, your
spirit rejoices with the Angels.
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(cont.) “Thus I spoke and as if acquiring some hope in firm faith, and feeling some confidence in the mercy of the Mother of God, I left the place where I stood praying. And I went again and mangled with the crowd that was pushing its way into the temple. And now no one seemed to thwart me, no one hindered my entering the church. I was possessed with trembling, and was almost in delirium. Having got as far as the doors which I could not reach before — as if the same force which had hindered me cleared the way for me — I now entered without difficulty and found myself within the holy place. And so it was that I saw the Life=Giving Cross. I saw too the Mysteries of God and how the Lord accepts repentance. Throwing myself on the ground, I worshiped that holy earth and kissed it with trembling. Then I came out of the church and went to her who has promised to be my security, to the place where I had sealed my vow. And bending my knees before the Virgin Mother of God, I addressed to her such words as these:
“O Loving Lady, thou hast shown me thy great love for all men. Glory to God
Who receives THE REPENTANCE OF SINNERS THROUGH THEE. What more
can I recollect or say, I who am so sinful? It is time for me, O Lady, to fulfill my
vow, according to thy witness. Now lead me by the hand along the path of
repentance! And at these words I heard a voice from on high: “IF YOU CROSS
THE JORDAN YOU WILL FIND GLORIOUS REST.”
Hearing this voice and having faith that it was for me, I cried to the Mother of God: “O Lady, Lady, do not forsake me!” With these words I left the porch of the church and set off on my journey. As I was leaving the church a stranger glanced at me and gave me three coins, saying: “Sister, take these.” And taking the money, I bought three loaves of bread and took them with me on my journey, as a blessed gift. I asked the person who sold the bread: ‘Which is the way to the Jordan River?’ I was directed to the city gate which led that way. Running on I passed the gates and still weeping went on my journey. Those I met I asked the way, and after walking for the rest of that day (I think it was nine o’clock when I saw the Cross) I at length reached at sunset the Church of Saint John the Baptist which stood on the banks of the River Jordan and rinsed my face and hands in its holy waters. I partook of the Holy and Life-Giving Mysteries (Sacraments) in the Church of the Forerunner and ate half of one of my loaves. Then, after drinking some water from the River Jordan, I lay down and passed the night on the ground. In the morning I found a small boat and crossed to the opposite bank. I again prayed to Our Lady to direct me where she wished. Then I found myself in this desert and since then up to this very day I am estranged from all, keeping away from people and running away from everyone. And I live here clinging to my God Who SAVES ALL WHO TURN TO HIM FROM FAINTHEARTEDNESS AND STORMS.
Father Zosimas asked her: ‘How many years have gone by since you began to live in this desert?’ She replied: ’47 years have already gone by, I think, since I left the Holy City.’ But what food do you find? The woman said: ‘I had two and a half loaves when I crossed the River Jordan but soon the dried up and became hard as rock. Eating a little I gradually finished them after a few years.’ Can it be that without getting ill you have lived so many years thus, without suffering in any way from such a complete change? The woman answered: ‘You remind me, Zosimas, of what I dare not speak of. For when I recall all the dangers which I overcame, and all the violent thoughts which confused me, I am again afraid that they will take possession of me.’
Believe me, Abba (Father), seventeen years I passed in this desert fighting wild beasts — mad desires and passions. When I was about to partake of food, I used to begin to regret the meat and fish of which I had so much. For I drank a lot of wine when I lived in the world, while here I had not even water. When evil thoughts, desires, and memories entered my mind turned to the Mother of God and reminded myself of the vow which I had made, and cried in prayer and implored her to chase away the thoughts to which my miserable soul was succumbing. And after weeping for long I used to see light at last which seemed to shine on me from everywhere. And after the violent storms, lasting calm descended.
I beg you, holy father, for the sake of Jesus Christ our God and Savior, tell no one what you have heard, until God delivers me of this earth. And now depart in peace and again next year you shall see me, and I you, if God will preserve us in His great mercy. But for God’s sake do as I ask you. Next year during Lent do not cross the River Jordan, as is your custom in the monastery. Touching the Saint’s feet and asking for her prayers for the Church, the Kingdom and himself, he let her depart with tears, while he went off sighing and sorrowful,for he could not hope to vanquish the invincible. And the elder returned filled with joy and terror, accusing himself of not having asked the Saint her name. But he decided to do so next year.
For the whole year he kept silent, not daring to tell anyone of what he had seen. And when at length the first Sunday of the Great Fast came, all the monks went out into the desert with the customary prayers and the singing of psalms. Only Zosimas was held back by illness — he lay in a fever. And then he remembered what the Saint had said to him: ‘And even if you wish to depart, you will not be able to do so.’ Many days passed and at last recovering from his illness he remained in the monastery. And when the monks returned and the day of the Mystical Supper dawned, he did as he had been ordered. And placing some of the Most Pure Body and Blood into a small chalice and putting some figs and dates and lentils soaked in water into a small basket, he departed for the desert and reached the banks of the River Jordan and sat down to wait for the Saint. He waited for a long while and then began to doubt. As he was pondering thus he saw the holy woman appear and stand on the other side of the river. Father Zosimas got up rejoicing and glorifying and thanking God. And again the thought came to him that she could not cross the River Jordan. Then he saw that she made the sign of the Cross over the waters of the Jordan (and the night was a moonlight one, as he related afterwards) and then at once stepped on to the waters and began moving across the surface towards him. And when he wanted to prostrate himself, she cried out to him while still walking on the water: ‘What are you doing, Abba, you are a priest and carrying the Divine Gifts’ He obeyed her and on reaching the shore said to the elder: ‘Bless, father, bless me!’
The holy woman asked him to say the Creed and Our Father. He began, she finished the prayer and according to the tradition of that time gave him the kiss of peace on the lips. Having partaken of the Holy Mysteries, she raised her hands to heaven and sighed with tears in her eyes, exclaiming:
“Now lettest Thou Thy servant depart in peace, O Lord, according to Thy word; for my eyes have seen Thy salvation.” Then she said to the elder: ‘Forgive me, Father, for asking you, but fulfill another wish of mine. Go now to the monastery and let God’s grace guard you. And next year come again to the same place where I first met you. Come for God’s sake, for you shall again see me, for such is the will of God.’ She again made the sign of the Cross over the waters of the River Jordan and crossed over as before.
When another year had passed, he again went into the desert. He reached the same spot but could see no sign of anyone. So raising his eyes to heaven as before, he prayed: ‘Show me, O Lord, Thy pure treasure, which Thou hast concealed in the desert. Show me, I pray Thee, Thy Angel in the flesh, of which the world is not worthy.’ Then on the opposite bank of the river, her face turned towards the rising sun, he saw the Saint lying dead. Her hands were crossed according to tradition and her face was turned to the East. Running up he shed tears over the Saint’s feet and kissed them. Then reciting the appointed psalms, he said the burial prayers and thought to himself: ‘Must I bury the body of a Saint? Or will this be contrary to her wishes? And then he saw words traced on the ground by her head: ‘Abba Zosimas, bury on this spot the body of humble Mary, who departed in the month of Formoutin of Egypt, called April by the Romans, on the first day, on the very night of our Lord’s Passion, after having partaken of the Divine Mysteries.
Then Father Zosimas thought: It is time to do as she wished. But how am I to dig a grave with nothing in my hands? He attempted to dig with a small piece of wood left by some traveler in the desert but could not. He sighed from the depths of his soul and lifting up his eyes he saw a big lion, standing close to the Saint’s body and licking her feet. At the sight of the lion he trembled with fear, especially when he called to mind Saint Mary’s words that she had never seen wild beasts in the desert. But guarding himself with the sign of the Cross, the thought came to him that the power of the one lying there would protect him and keep him unharmed. Meanwhile the lion drew nearer to him, expressing affection y every movement.
Zosimas said to the lion” ‘The Great One ordered that her body was to be buried but I am old and have not the strength to dig the grave so can you carry out the work with your claws? Then we can commit to the earth the mortal temple of the Saint? While he was still speaking the lion with his front paws began to dig a hole deep enough to bury the body. Saint Zosimas then covered the body with earth in the presence of the lion. Then both departed. The lion went off into the depth of the desert and Saint Zosimas returned to the monastery glorifying and blessing our Lord. And on reaching the monastery he told the brothers about everything, and all marveled on hearing of the Saint.. Father Zosimas died in the monastery, almost attaining the age of one hundred.
__________
“Glory Be To GOD
For
All Things!”
– Saint John Chrysostomos
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With sincere agape in His Divine and Glorious Diakonia (Ministry),
The sinner and unworthy servant of God
+ Father George
The Eastern Orthodox Christian Ethos 